In that final hour
I didn’t want to leave you alone.
I knew this would scar me
But you were well worth it
And now I sit here,
Heart ripped open,
And you won’t even talk to me
Anymore.

“You make me feel less alone.”
six words on why it seems I have to talk to you non-stop.(readyfornothing)

I am a hollow tree
And you are the wind
That ripped my roots from the ground.
You took all that I was
And broke me until I was no more.
Now you howl through my veins
And I curse at the destruction
You have caused.

I scream your name every night
And you won’t even think mine.

There will be times, now,
That I’ll scream your name
At the sky
Like a curse rolling off my tongue,
Filled with anguish
And despair
And wonder how you could say you care
Yet leave without telling me
If you’re breathing.

I’m not breathing.

I’m so angry with myself that I really want to punch myself.

And then the depression hits and you put a song on repeat and just lie there, oblivious to everything, including the song, and you just wonder why you are still here.

I’m going to blare The Exies, dance, and sing at the top of my lungs because I am home alone and no one can stop me.

I was complimented today
By an old friend.
She told me that I look better
With the weight that I’ve gained
And parts of me want to thank her
For noticing how hard I am trying
To not harm myself
For others doings
And the other parts
Want to curse at myself
And purge all night long.
The part that won:


I thanked her.

"It’s about progress," he tells me.

The weight of the world
Seems to slip onto my shoulders
More frequently than not
And I care more about others
Than I ever will myself.

"It’s about progress," he tells me
After a panic attack,
After I almost relapse,
After I’ve made a mistake
And I’m apologizing to no end.
He shushes my sorrys
And reassures me that I’m okay.
That we’re not perfect.
That it’s progress.

So let me tell you about my progress.

In these few months
I’ve gotten better at seeing myself
As beautiful.
I’ve fought for one person
To stay in my life.
I have not apologized
For loving someone so deeply
That I would do anything
To stay.

It’s about progress,
No matter how small.

Us talking after our movie date.
I’ve missed him like crazy.

darkwordsofmine

We can lie in the grass
With my arms wrapped tight around you
As you tremble like the tears
Dripping off your cheeks.

Feeling- “What you Deserve” by the exies.