Your moods changed
Like the seasons,
Growing ice cold
And slowly thawing out
Until your radiant smile
Shined so bright
We couldn’t see the sun.
But those days
Would come and go
Like the flow
Of the ocean tide
Constantly rearranging,
And nothing can stop
The waters from becoming rough.

I close my eyes
And fall into your arms
As your scent surrounds me
And I can breathe peacefully.

Lets try some positive poetry…

Your eyes glowed
As the sun sank down
Below the horizon
Vanishing from view
But not from you
As you burned brighter
Than anything I had ever seen
And it is an honor
Just to be by your side.

These emotions
Take control
And I’m left feeling like
A burden,
Waste of space,
Waste of time,
A hindrance
And I just want to know
That maybe I’m not those things,
That maybe you care
And it’s okay if I’m asking too much.
You don’t have to show me.
I will find a way through
And maybe better myself

I’m in a “I don’t fucking care” mood
Where I’m honest about what I think about
And so I scare people away.

I watch the waves crash
In your eyes
And I am stunned
By the way you move
As if you are part of the ocean,
A constant push and pull
Tugging you from the inside out
While doubt tends to cross your mind
But I will not turn blind.
You are wonderful.

She was nothing but
A pretty metaphor,
Wrapped up in words
She didn’t explore
But instead leaked out
From tears and years
Of being told she was
n o t h i n g.

I’ll leave you with a picture of me because I don’t know when I’ll be back today, but when I am, get ready for poetry.

I’ll leave you with a picture of me because I don’t know when I’ll be back today, but when I am, get ready for poetry.

One. Step. Forward.

My first suicidal thought
Was in the fourth grade
As words rang out behind me
Calling me names
For years.
By the time I was in the eighth,
Every second around the clock
Was an eternity
Lived in my head
Ending with a bullet,
Or with self prescribed medication
That would put me to sleep.
I had it down
To the exact hour
And my only coping skill
Was counting the twenty pills
That laid in a glasses case
At the head of my bed.
I knew I had an escape.
And even though I’ve gotten better now,
There are still days
Where I feel like I can’t take
One. Step. Forward.
But that’s all I need
To keep me going.

Just breathe.

You tortured me
On a daily basis,
Always having
To have your way.
And if you didn’t,
It was at my expense.
I watched
As you hit your head
Against the wall,
Decided life was not worth living
If you couldn’t do that one thing
That particular night.
And so I let you go.
I helped you out.
And how do I get repaid? (Not that I want it.)
But by you
Drugging up so much
You come home half naked
And you say you left that way
When I know for certain
You had on more clothes.
I just wanted you happy,
Wanted you safe.
But safety didn’t come
With your happiness.
You had to live on the edge
And terrorize me
With the idea of you falling.
And you

And when you look at me
What do you see?
Is it the insecurities
That I try to hide
Or the misery
In my eyes?